What to write on a sympathy flower card

• I'm so sorry, Jen. I loved Mark too, and I'll miss him every day. All my love, Kate Miller
• We're heartbroken about Grandpa. He taught every one of us to fish, and we'll keep telling his stories. Love, Mia and Leo
• I'm so sorry about your sister. I keep thinking of her laughing at your wedding. Love, Priya Shah
• Thinking of you and the kids. I'll drop off groceries on Saturday, and I can take the kids to the park if that helps. Love, Ana Ruiz
• Uncle Ray was one of a kind. We're thinking of you, Aunt Linda, and we'll see you at the service. Love, Joe and Tess
• Nothing I write will make this easier, but I'm here, and I'll keep checking in. Love, Sam Brooks

Every message in this guide fits the 250-character card.

Name the person who died, and add a memory or a plan if you have room. Someone in mourning can find it hard to ask for help, so offer something specific, such as groceries on a named day, rather than a general offer of help.

What to write in a sympathy card, from Tharp Funeral Home

• I'm so sorry about your mom. She treated me like one of her own, and I'll never forget her kitchen table. Love, Dana Cole
• Your mother made every one of us feel at home. With deepest sympathy, Tom and Gail Brooks
• Your mom was so proud of you. I'm here whenever you want to talk about her. Love, Rosa Diaz
• Your dad was the kindest man on our street. We'll miss his wave from the porch. With sympathy, the Patel family
• I'm so sorry about your father. I'll always remember him cheering at every one of our games. Love, Chris Hale
• We are so sorry about Frank. He loved you and the kids more than anything. With love, the Morrisons

Call the parent what your friend calls them, such as “your mom” or “your dad,” and add a memory if you have one. When the card goes to the surviving parent, use the first name of the husband or wife who died, as in “We are so sorry about Frank.”

For a coworker, say you are sorry and, if you can, make a practical offer such as covering their work. Sign with your first and last name, since their family may not have met you.

• I'm so sorry about your mother, Raj. Take all the time you need, and don't worry about work. Kelly Moore
• Thinking of you and your family this week. With sympathy, Dan Ortiz
• I was so sorry to hear about your husband, Mei. I'll cover the Friday reports until you're back. Sarah Kim, Accounts
• I'm so sorry about your dad, Nadia. I loved hearing your stories about his garden. With sympathy, Luis Herrera
• I worked beside Diane for eight years, and she was always the first to help. I'm so sorry for your loss. Erin Walsh, who worked with her at the library

Leave anything personal for a private conversation. When the coworker is the one who died, write to the family and add how you worked together after your name.

Signing etiquette from the Emily Post Institute, reported by USPS

Sign a card from a team with both the team and the company, as in “the design team at Halvorsen Construction,” so the family can tell who sent the flowers. A card from the whole company can be signed from “everyone at” the company.

• With deepest sympathy from everyone at Cedar Lane Dental. We're thinking of you, Lisa.
• Thinking of you and your family. With sympathy from the design team at Halvorsen Construction
• We're so sorry about your mother, Denise. Take the time you need. With sympathy, the night shift at Maple Street Pharmacy
• We were sorry to learn of Walter's death. It was a privilege to work with him for 20 years. With sympathy, his colleagues in claims at Ridgeway Insurance
• We were sorry to hear about Helen. She was a client of ours for 15 years, and we'll miss her visits. With sympathy, everyone at Brightwater Travel

• I didn't know your mother, but I know how much she meant to you. With sympathy, Karen Lee
• I'm so sorry about your father, Dev. I'm thinking of you and your family. Mark Evans
• I'm sorry I never got to meet Ellen. From everything you've told me, she was wonderful. With love, Jess Park
• Thinking of you as you remember your grandmother. With sympathy, Carlos Mendes
• We're so sorry for your loss, and we're thinking of you this week. With sympathy, your neighbors Ben and Ali Novak

Write to the person you know. You can say plainly that you never met the one who died, and a short message is enough. If the family may not know your name, add how you know them, such as “your neighbors” or “Lauren's friend from book club.”

Sympathy card wording from Hallmark

• I'm so sorry about Biscuit. He was the best-behaved dog on the block, and we'll miss him. Love, Jo Adams
• Thinking of you after losing Luna. Fourteen years of naps in the sun was a good life, and you gave it to her. Love, Pat Kelly
• Max had a wonderful life with you. I'm so sorry. Love, Dee Hart
• We're so sorry about Pepper. The house won't feel the same without her at the door. Love, the Garcias
• I know how much Ollie meant to you. Call me any time you want to talk about him. Love, Nina Ross

Use the pet's name and a memory, as you would for a person. If the family chose to have the pet put to sleep, support the choice, as in “You took good care of her to the end,” and leave out questions about it.

A family that has lost one pet may have others. True lilies can cause fatal kidney failure in cats, and the lilies in the White Lilies bouquet are true lilies (Lilium candidum). Every part is poisonous to cats, including the pollen and the vase water. A bite of a petal or pollen licked off fur is enough. If a cat may have touched a lily, take it to a vet at once. The hydrangeas in the Hydrangea bouquet are toxic to cats and dogs. For a home with pets, send the Phalaenopsis Orchid. The ASPCA list marks Phalaenopsis orchids as non-toxic to cats and dogs, and the plant comes in its pot with no other flowers or greenery. If the orchid is unavailable, it may be replaced with one of similar or greater value, so check what arrives against the pet-safety guide.

• Flowers and plants non-toxic to cats and dogs

• Sympathy card wording from Hallmark
• Pet toxicity from the ASPCA Animal Poison Control plant list
• Lily dangers for cats, from ASPCA Animal Poison Control

• Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Praying for you all, the Okafor family
• May God hold you close and give you peace in the days ahead. With love and prayers, Mark and Jill Turner
• We're praying for your family and remembering Carol with love. With deepest sympathy, Ben Ward
• Ed is at rest with the Lord now. Keeping you in our prayers, Pastor Dan and everyone at Grace Church
• May the God of all comfort be with you. We love you and we're praying for you. Love, Aunt June

Use religious wording only when you know the family shares the faith; the examples in the other sections leave it out. The first example quotes Matthew 5:4 in the King James Version.

Most rabbis discourage flowers at a Jewish funeral, and visitors to a shiva house bring food in place of flowers. For a Jewish family, send a meal, after checking whether they keep kosher, or give to a charity the family names in the obituary. Some Muslim families also prefer no flowers.

• When flowers are not customary

• Flowers at Jewish funerals, from My Jewish Learning
• Shiva customs, from My Jewish Learning
• Matthew 5:4 (King James Version), from Bible Gateway

• In loving memory of Ruth Alvarez, for her service Saturday at 11 am. With deepest sympathy, Maria and Tom Chen.
• For Ruth Alvarez's service, Saturday at 11 am. With love, the Chen family.
• For the service for Ruth Alvarez, Friday at 2 pm. Remembering her with love, her friends at the Elm Street library.
• In memory of Ruth Alvarez, a kind neighbor and friend, for the 10 am service. With sympathy, the Okafor family.
• Celebrating the life of Ruth Alvarez at her service Saturday at 11 am. With love from her book club.

Flowers for a service go to the funeral home. Put the name of the person who died and the service time in the message, so the staff place the flowers at the right service.

Sign with your first and last name, or with your family's name, such as “the Chen family.” Someone the whole family knows well, such as a close relative, can sign the way they are known, as in “Aunt Carol and Uncle Bill.”

• With deepest sympathy, Maria and Tom Alvarez
• Thinking of you. Hannah Wells, Lauren's friend from book club
• With love, Aunt Carol and Uncle Bill
• With sympathy, the Chen family: Wei, Lin, Amy and Jack

The Emily Post Institute advises using your first and last name with anyone you have never met in person. Other relatives may read the cards, and the family may keep them to write thank-you notes. A first name alone can be hard to place.

The name of the partner that delivers the order may appear on the card or packaging. Your signature tells the family who sent the flowers.

A message for flowers sent to a funeral home might read “For Ruth Bennett's service at 11 am. With deepest sympathy, the Lindqvist family.”

The card message is free and holds up to 250 characters, counting spaces and line breaks. For $6, the Keepsake Card add-on also prints your message on a folded card the family can keep.

Signing etiquette from the Emily Post Institute, reported by USPS

Leave out how the person died and any illness before it.

Avoid “This happened for a reason,” which can read as blaming someone for the death, and “I know how you feel,” since people grieve in different ways. “She was so young” is a painful reminder the family does not need.

Skip advice such as “You should,” and predictions such as “It will get easier.”

• Sympathy card wording from Hallmark
• What to write in a sympathy card, from Tharp Funeral Home

• Thank you for the beautiful lilies. They stood beside Mom's photo at the service. Love, Ellen
• Thank you for the orchid. It sits on Dad's desk now, and it's still in bloom. With love, the Park family
• Thank you for the flowers and your kind words about Jim. They meant a great deal to us. Carol Hayes
• Your flowers brightened a very hard week. Thank you for thinking of us. Love, Beth and the kids
• Thank you to everyone at Ridgeway for the flowers. Walter always spoke well of you. The Moss family

One to three sentences on a note card is enough. Name the flowers, and say where they stood or what they meant to you. Mail the notes within a few weeks of the funeral if you can; people understand if it takes a month or two, and family members can help write them.

Keep the card from each arrangement, or ask the funeral home for the cards, so you know who sent which flowers.

Sympathy thank-you notes, from Funeralwise